


Make It To Me

by astrodisea



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Post-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 03:45:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5812555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrodisea/pseuds/astrodisea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s like you sang,” Finn murmured as his mouth drifted to Poe’s neck, the pilot tilting his head back to let him close. “I will give you all of me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make It To Me

**Author's Note:**

> ty to goodnightcecilandcarlosgoodnight for plot insp x  
> count the sam smith songs throughout this :’) title’s one, can ya find the seven more? still holding out for finnpoe canonisation in episode VIII, you could say I’M COVERING MY EARS LIKE A KID to the reports of it being shot down

A beard was starting to make its presence known beneath the pilot’s face and it prickled his fingers as he, not for the first time that minute, ran a hand across his tired face. Poe Dameron didn’t sleep much these days – Poe Dameron rarely left the med-bay. Jessica Pava would force him to eat, bring him fresh clothes, try to bully him into a shower, but more often than not Poe would refuse, and Jess would leave. Sometimes BB-8 followed her out. The little droid, in its own way, was just as distressed by Poe’s despondency as the pilot was distressed himself by the scene before him.

Slow, regular, Finn’s mechanised breathing made a rhythm of the med-bay. He was the only patient. He’d been in a coma for three weeks.

Poe’s hand dropped from his face and he got out of the chair, his legs stiff. BB-8 whirred in concern: There were bags beneath his eyes. The designated medical droids had told him that Finn would be fine, just fine, the reinforcement to his spine would integrate smoothly with his movements, Finn would barely need physiotherapy, he would recover. Just like Poe Dameron could fix any aircraft, the med-droids could fix anyone with a pulse, even from spinal damage. The metal reinforcements fed right up to the back of his friend’s neck. All the ex-stormtrooper had to do now was wake up.

But he hadn’t woken up.

Poe Dameron paced, Poe Dameron sighed, Poe Dameron took Finn’s hand in both of his own and knelt by the side of his bed.

“Just wake up, buddy,” he murmured. “It’s not right without you askin’ questions all the time. I even sewed your jacket back up. Not very well, but. All you gotta do now is open your eyes to see it.”

And for a second he was sure he saw movement beneath dark eyelids, rapid like REM sleep and his heart soared but then it sank. Finn stayed unconscious.

Nobody should have to sleep alone, least of all Finn with his heart of gold. And if anyone thought Poe was paranoid – well, that was his business. Fact of the matter was that he knew people on D’Qar and he knew not all of them were friendly toward the thought of a reformed stormtrooper on base.  

“BB-8, buddy? You’ll keep an eye out, won’t you?”

The droid whirred a rapid affirmative and rolled to the door, vibrating with purpose. Poe snorted and smiled down at his hands. He planted a kiss above the pulse-point on Finn’s wrist, then leant his back against the wall, the pilot letting his eyes drop to a close. Beneath his breath he hummed a song until the sounds of the world became fog-like.

Finn’s voice, raspy from disuse: “Poe? That you?”

The pilot’s head snapped up so fast the vertebrae creaked.

“Finn?” He scrambled up off the med-bay floor. BB-8 rolled over, chirping in excitement. “Finn, buddy, you’re awake!”

The bed-ridden man groggily looked around the room. “Where am I?”

“Med-bay, honey.”

“Kylo… and _Han_.” The realisation made itself known in his eyes and the way he snapped out: “That _bastard_ came after Rey.” His eyes became feverish; he looked at Poe, but he was looking through him, right through him, and the pilot felt the smile disappear from his lips. “Is she okay?” Finn blurted. “What happened, Poe? Did Rey get out?”

“She’s fine, buddy. She did a fair number on that sunuvabitch, what I hear. He got away – but then again, so did you.” Poe licked nervously at his lips. “Finn – I’m so fuckin’ glad you’re alright.”

“But where is she now?”

Poe tried not to flinch at the dismissal. “She – she went after Luke Skywalker. Turns out Rey’s a pretty powerful Force user. With a fair bit of training – which is goin’ down right now, by the way – she’s gonna be a Jedi.”

The disappointment on Finn’s face was easy to read: waking up in the med-bay, memories muddled and spine damn near severed, his first thought wasn’t himself, and it wasn’t ever gonna be Poe, much as the pilot wanted to kid himself. It was Rey. Of course – would always be Rey, or some other woman.

“So she’s not here?”

“’fraid not, pal. But she wanted to be. She writes after you non-stop… Listen, I, ah – I should be some place.”

Finn sat up, hissing as his reinforced spine moved for the first time. Poe wanted to hold him, to make it better, wanted to be the only life support Finn needed. He wanted to explain everything away until the other man could smile again. But he couldn’t handle this. It was tearing him up, piece by piece, inside to the outside. He wanted to cover his ears like a kid. He couldn’t hear this.

Finn asked in dismay: “You’re going?”

“Gotta, buddy. But BB-8’ll stay. Won’t you?”

The droid gave a confused answer, but at Poe’s glare the droid quickly caved in. It was all Poe Dameron could do not to sprint for the door, forcing his pace to stay somewhere between stride and jog.

“Where’re you going?” Finn called after him, but Poe was already halfway gone.

The pilot bit into his tongue, mind a maelstrom of self-torment and humiliated shame. He was a fucking idiot. To think he’d really thought – what they’d shared, the thrill of escape, of rescue, of sharing what little he had left with someone, the horror of loss, the bliss of reunion… he’d been so sure. So sure he was forging something. He’d gone and dreamed up this good thing from the hospital floor. He’d looked at Finn and Poe had thought, _I could love him._ Poe kept near-jogging right to his quarters, not making eye-contact with the resistance crew he passed. All that time by Finn’s bed-side had made it worse, his infatuation mounting into something greater, and he knew what he was doing. Making up a love that wasn’t love, desperate for someone to stay by his side. Wouldn’t be the first time he’d gone and fallen for a straight guy. Wouldn’t be the last.

But he’d heard about Rey. All things considered – well, at least she’d treat him right. It coulda been worse.

Cold was the room he closed himself into but he couldn’t care less. Tan hands ran through greasy hair and he forced himself to take a shower, to change into a fresh set of clothes, but it didn’t help. Now he was just lonely and clean, as opposed to lonely and a grease-bag. He dropped to his bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling sorry for himself, before he laughed at himself, before he started humming a song. Poe reached for his guitar and sang himself, line by line, into a worse mood, a deeper loneliness.

 

Whatever had just happened Finn knew two things: it was bad – and it was utterly, completely his fault.

“What did I just do?”

BB-8 looked at him – at least, that’s what Finn thought it was doing – and downright _whined_.

Finn had dealt with the designated medical droids, listened to their recovery advice, signed their forms, got out of the bed. Got dressed, wearing Poe Dameron’s jacket with the rip in the back stitched closed with what looked like X-wing cable wire. All through it he couldn’t stop thinking about the complete dejection on Poe’s face. That disappointment, that hurt, like a kicked dog. He couldn’t get it out of his head. The more he thought about it the less sense it made. He was awake – that was a good thing, wasn’t it? It meant they could be around each other again. Though from the looks of him, Poe’d spent a fair bit of time around Finn in the med-bay. Too much time for the pilot’s own good.

“This is gonna eat at me,” Finn murmured, then looked at the small orange and white droid. “Do you know where I can find him?”

Positive whirring.

“Yeah? Can you lead the way?”

The droid paused, calculating, spun in slow circles – then shot off down the corridor.

Finn swore under his breath and followed as quick as his refurbished spine would allow. It took a while before the droid came to a thrumming halt outside one of many magnetic doors. Finn caught his breath before asking: “This it? Doesn’t seem like anything special–”

That’s when he heard it.

Poe Dameron singing. Voice low and mournful but unmistakeably him, with the melodic thrumming of strings beneath, and the whole world dimmed. His mind careened to a complete stop, lips parting, eyes widening. Finn leant against the door and listened, spellbound.

I’m in love with you and you will never know,  
But if I can’t have you I want this life alone,  
Spare you the rising storms and let the rivers flow,  
You’ll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain,  
Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name,  
Pack up and leave everything, don’t you see what I can bring?  
Can’t keep this beating heart at bay,  
Set my midnight sorrow free, I will give you all of me,  
Just leave your lover, leave him for me,  
Leave your lover, leave him for me.

At first it meant nothing – just a song with no attached meaning but then he started to wonder why. You don’t sing like that without reason. You don’t sing like that without soul, without pain. But Poe Dameron was _perfect_ – how could anything – and then he heard Poe whisper, quieter than before: “Leave her for me.”

He swallowed hard. It _was_ his fault, obvious, the writing on the wall. To wake up and ignore his friend, to just ask about Rey when it was so obvious Poe was the one who’d stayed, _Poe_ was the one who’d given up on keeping himself together to be with Finn, even when he wouldn’t remember any of it – what a clean idiot he’d been. What a blind moron he was.

BB-8 rattled, nervous. Finn gave it the thumbs up and rapped his knuckles on the door.

When it opened, he stepped inside and remarked: “You’re good at that. I didn’t know you played.”

“Yeah?” Poe didn’t look at him: his grip on the acoustic guitar went tighter and the ghost of a sad laugh quirked his mouth. He’d shaved in the past hour, jaw tight, skin fresh from the hot spray. BB-8 rolled away, reading the situation and leaving the two alone, the magnetic door of the room sliding closed. A dark curl, still damp from the shower, shifted and fell across one of Poe’s downcast eyes. “Thanks, buddy.”

“It sounded – sounded like it came from the heart. You singing about anyone in particular?”

There was a line and Finn bordered on crossing it but hearing Poe Dameron sing like that had ignited the hope inside him like a lighter in a dry forest. He could see it playing out before him and if he could just get the words right, if he could just find the right things to say now, then they could have something beautiful. They’d saved each other’s lives. Finn crept closer to his bed. They’d each felt what it was like to lose the other. But if he could just get this _right_ – it was like Poe had said, wasn’t it, back on the Finalizer?

_You need a pilot._

Poe’s eyes lifted, wary and sad but appraising, but full of hope. He answered: “Could be. What about you, you got anyone special?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“I thought I did.” A crooked smile. “Thought I mighta met someone real important. But it feels like I was wrong about that.”

The ex-stormtrooper tried not to visibly flinch; Poe took pity on him and, setting down his guitar, motioned for him to sit down. “What makes you think that?”

“Well.” Their legs touched. “I thought I’d lost him, see? He’s got a heart of gold but damn near got himself cleaned up in a fight. But then, he came back to me – and it turns out, he wasn’t into me to begin with.”

Finn was still wearing Poe’s jacket and he realised, then, that the other man genuinely didn’t know – didn’t know that he would _always_ be wearing it. FN-2187’s loyalty to the First Order had shifted permanently in the middle of his betrayal, morphed into a loyalty to something else: Rey, the resistance, yes, but Poe Dameron meant _more_ than that.

He blurted: “Is it me?”

Poe blinked, shocked. “What?”

“I – Poe, I don’t know what I did wrong, but you’ve given me my life, you got me out of the First Order, you gave me my name, and I gotta give you something back–”

“Buddy, you ain’t gotta do that–”

Finn grabbed his shoulders, then the smooth sides of his face, stopping the other man from shaking his head. “Yeah I do. Poe. Yeah, I do. Can’t you see it?”

“See what?” Poe begged.

“I’d – I wanna give you my _heart_.”

Finn kissed him like he couldn’t stop himself, the kind of kiss that makes your chest ache, hand curling in Poe’s hair and the other man made a sad, desperate noise into his mouth as their lips made contact. Then Poe changed the angle and opened his mouth, tongues slipping on each other with instant recognition, so sudden but so unpreventable. Hands crept beneath shirts, hot breath darting from nostrils against each face, and Poe’s eyes were wet but so was Finn’s hot mouth. His heart was shaking but so were his frantic hands and so long as Finn was here – so long as Finn was alive – then fuck, what did he have to complain about? Especially when the object of his affections could kiss like _that_ –

“It’s like you sang,” Finn murmured as his mouth drifted to Poe’s neck, the pilot tilting his head back to let him close. “ _I will give you all of me_.”

Poe swallowed and Finn tracked the movement with an open-mouthed kiss. “But– I thought– Rey–”

Finn snorted; looked up at Poe through his eyelashes in disbelief. “Rey’s my best friend, don’t get me wrong, believe me I love her but–”

“ _Not in that way?_ ”

It was all the agency Poe Dameron needed to be allowed. He pushed back – gentle, mind – until Finn’s back met the sheets of the cot, and returned his kisses, rough and demanding, leaving marks on Finn’s neck and collarbones, nips and sucks he soothed with curls of his tongue. Finn groaned and rolled his hips to meet the thigh Poe slotted between his legs. The pilot poured all his hopes into every bite and worked a hand up under his old jacket, under Finn’s shirt, to drag a nail over one dark nipple.

“Just–”

“What?–”

“Don’t stop.”

Murmuring his agreement, Poe groaned in the haze: “Was so scared. Already thought I lost you on Jakku. And again?”

Finn’s hands helped him out of his shirt, out of his jeans, and Poe returned the favour until they were both only wearing underwear, Poe’s fingers running along Finn’s exposed skin like he meant to memorise every blemish, every scar.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Finn promised between kisses. “You’re the first person who ever cared about me.”

“And I’ll never stop.”

Dark hands kept their touches light and soon had Poe shuddering but when their direction slipped into the back of his briefs, Poe shook his head.

“We can’t, honey,” he gasped, but couldn’t stop himself from arching backward into the electric touch. “Your back–”

“ _Fuck_ my back,” Finn growled.

Poe laughed, planting a wet kiss in the middle of his torso. “Can think of better places to fuck you.”

He kissed him again, and again, working his way down to Finn’s stomach, to Finn’s thighs, and the other man’s breathing stammered as a tan hand slipped into his underwear. Poe’s fingers stroked along his heated length before twisting in an exploratory curl. Poe freed it from the trap of Finn’s briefs, one hand gliding on the vein beneath, gently coaxing the gasps from the other’s mouth until he let his lips close around Finn’s cock.

Another gasp, ragged and drawn out: hands twisted into Poe’s hair, not forcing, not fucking his face, just holding, petting at his dark curls while he sucked him off. The weight in his mouth, the salt and heat, Poe felt his mounting lust fuel his own erection, a wet patch growing at the front of his underwear. He ignored it. This was about Finn. Drops of pre-come on Poe’s tongue mingled with his saliva and he kept their eyes locked to watch each twitch of bliss across Finn’s face, to see every gasp and sigh escape from pink-purple lips, his hips rolling forward like a wave to meet Poe’s relentless sucking mouth. The lids of those bright brown eyes fluttered closed. Making his eyes water, Poe dragged Finn’s dick deeper into his throat, hand jacking at the base where he couldn’t reach with his mouth.

“Poe,” Finn groaned, “you’re _unbelievable_ –”

He kept his hand stroking over Finn’s dick as he pulled back. A thin line of saliva connected him to the head before it broke. Finn’s eyes were glossed over, his breathing rapid, the most gorgeous he’d ever seen him, and Poe moved up his body until his own erection pushed against the other man’s through his briefs. Poe bit his lip to silence a groan before attaching his mouth over Finn’s lips. His heart twisted when Finn kissed him with equal enthusiasm – his heart nearly stopped altogether when gentle hands clutched at his sides, brushing down to help him kick out of his underwear, and Finn sucked his tongue before he licked a hand and wrapped it around where Poe wanted it most.

As much as he loved it – as much as he wanted it – the twitches of pain in Finn’s expression were becoming harder to ignore, darting up from the other’s pressured spine.

Poe licked his lips. “Honey, if it hurts–”

“I want to–”

“Hey.” His lips pressed under Finn’s jaw. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. We can try again in a few days, yeah? Shit, I waited this long. And it doesn’t mean that we have to stop.” A crooked grin wrote its way across his mouth when Finn’s dick twitched beneath him. “What do you want, sweetheart? My mouth, my hands?”

Finn moaned. “I want you to kiss me while you fuck my thighs.”

Swear to God, Poe almost came from that alone.

“The mouth on you,” he groaned.

“Please – _please_.”

“You don’t have to beg,” Poe soothed. “I’d give you anythin’, baby, all you have to do is ask.”

He did as Finn asked. Poe’s cock slotted between Finn’s trembling thighs, gasping into Finn’s shoulder when he squeezed his legs together to add to the friction, and he pressed his body against Finn’s to return the favour; the friction Finn found against Poe’s stomach had his head spinning. Poe kissed him hard, dragging their bodies together to make it better, and better still, each movement rolling them together, already so close, until the bombardment of pleasure matched the love inside he felt for this man.

“Feel good?” Poe whispered, and Finn nodded, close to tears.

Then Poe’s hand twisted between them to the spot behind Finn’s dick, pressing into it from the outside.

“Fuck – _right there_!”

“Mm. Yeah?” He was teasing him and Finn knew it.

“Poe,” he whined. “C’mon, _please_ , just give it to me, make me feel right.”

Clever fingers pressed harder, stroking, body rocking against Finn’s as his eyes screwed closed, pleasure wracking the pilot’s mind, sweat sparkling on their skin. Every touch amplified the heat. Every kiss pulled them closer and the drag of his cock against that tight space – he wouldn’t last long.

Then a promise, an oath: “I got you, baby,” Poe Dameron swore, and that was all Finn needed to come against his stomach while Poe pushed his tongue back into his hot mouth, worshipful as he streaked Finn’s dark thighs with his come.

They lay together, letting the quiet speak. Finn wove his fingers through Poe’s as they caught their breath, laughing gently as he let his eyes close. Poe Dameron couldn’t drop the smile.

“Can you sing me something?” Finn asked.

Poe hummed and rolled into his side. He made a lullaby of the first love song that crossed his mind, murmuring the words until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> i haven’t written porn since realising i’m asexual so I’m sorry if it’s fucking shithouse – alternatively if you loved it to bits please let me know, bc then I might just write more sexytimes about your other OTPs ;)


End file.
